Satire / Parody

Pumpkin Show to change name to accommodate all gourds

In an unexpected move, the Pumpkin Show will be changing its name to the Squash Show beginning in 2020.

Sources indicate that the reason for this change is that the festival shouldn’t discriminate against gourds and squash other than pumpkins and to promote gourdal diversity. A movement that calls themselves “Green Lives Matter” which is made up of growers of butternut squash and zucchini are believed to be the main advocates behind the move. They had originally pressed for the name to change this year, but the timing was too late.

A spokesperson from Green Lives Matter said, “It’s offensive and insensitive to show favoritism to only one type of squash. In today’s society we must appreciate the fruits of everyone’s labor.” He added, “The Show should be a safe space for all gourd families.”

We spoke with a guy hanging out on Court Street and he said, “I mean, I kind of get it. Orange isn’t the best color and diversity is good.” Another random said, “It’s hard to carve a spaghetti squash. I have tried. This is dumb.”

It is yet to be seen how this move will effect the status of a the water tower. It seems that a possible solution would be to make the one on Nicholas Drive into an acorn squash.

Yes folks this is satire. They aren’t changing anything. We hope you had a laugh!

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